Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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