The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
