If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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