would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
