i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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