I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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