I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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