just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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