I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We have started to decorate penises.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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