She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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