Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
