I smell stomach acid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
