porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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