My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
