Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
