I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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