We're facebook friends in real life
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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