ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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