Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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