the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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