What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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