I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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