you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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