those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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