I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
