I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize