He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
