with your own penis?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
and she was petting her beer can
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
