he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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