This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
