It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
