I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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