Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
