I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
