So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
