Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was CRYING into my vagina
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
