ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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