I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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