we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
