Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
