Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
