Non-Jews are for practice
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
