I will die if light touches me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize