Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
