I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
