Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
