you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
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The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Two words: nipple clamps
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