Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
