He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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