A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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