did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
