Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
then he tried to convert me to islam
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
