Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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