Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize