i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
