I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
