I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
