So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
