Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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