Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
