Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
