I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
