Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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