This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
