My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize