So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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